Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He kissed a someone with a penis
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize