Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
