At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
