i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
