I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
