Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize