I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
