do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he thought i was a dude.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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