Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
be right there i have to get my cape
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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