i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
