is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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