It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize