Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
