I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize