I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
