she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
