I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
