Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
