There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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