I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
