The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Houston, we have a blender
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
