i already hear my dad disowning me
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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