sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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