Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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