At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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