I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
