You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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