I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
