she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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