shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I stole a fireplace last night.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
