You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
