Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
