one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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