you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
