I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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