If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I am available for nakedness
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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