i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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