from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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