its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I love having hate sex.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
