It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
