ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
