I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
