the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
