Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
