I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
be right there i have to get my cape
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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