? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i now understand why vodka
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
