legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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