thus making me awesome and them whores
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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