Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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