i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Semen is not good for contacts.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
