Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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