We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
