feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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