I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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