Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
