omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
