i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
