i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
