I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
