I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
